I wanted to write a post about how we can overcome trials and difficulties in our lives and bounce back from them, and also what helped me in my journey through the last few years. I've called them the 'Four A's'.
So how do we get through? What helps us thrive instead of surviving or sinking?
People react in different ways.
I was thinking of the old tea bag saying that you don't realise your strength till you are in hot water. When we take a tea bag, place it in a teacup, and fill the cup with hot water, the water activates the tea in the bag, unleashing its taste into the water around it. The hot water didn't create the taste, it just drew out what was already in the bag. the moral being that the pressures around us (the unfavorable circumstances, the temptations, stress) draw out of our heart what is already in it. So if our heart is full of God things before it gets put under stress it is more likely to thrive. This is why it is so important to be close to God in the good times and the normality of life so we anchor ourselves well and allow our roots to grow deep to survive the storms which might test us. I was so blessed to have had a good grounding in faith having had a Christian upbringing where my dad was a minister (when I was very little) and also going to church right through my childhood and developing my own faith has kept me rooted throughout the more challenging times of my life and for that I am very grateful.
However at time as Christians we can beat ourselves up about how we feel but there are many examples of people in the Bible who had times of real testing circumstances and they all reacted differently. To name a few:
Elijah had suicidal thoughts - His reaction was to go to be alone with God on Mount Horeb and afterwards returned to his work
David who is famous for writing the Psalms was quite troubled at times- his reaction was to affirm God was with him and took comfort from that
Job cursed the day he was born- but said that even though he was suffering he would still trust God
Jesus was sorrowful to the point of death- and his reaction was to surrender his will to his Father, as he knew his Father loved him.
All had hope beyond themselves and their circumstances believing that God was ultimately sovereign and in control. Faith and hope have the ability to help us bounce back.
I think that it was faith and hope that helped me through the last few years. Trusting that God would work it out, trusting God was in control even though things were out of control and hope in a God who was with me and had my best interests at heart.
Paul in the Bible had his fair share of hardships and always bounced back- what was it that kept him moving forward rather than stopping or going backwards?
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 says:
Paul trusted God to see him through and he knew that these were just temporary hardships and that the hope of glory (Christ coming again) was enough to spur him on to pressing on and in to all that laid ahead. He served others in his hardships and that is something which I found to be very healing. I love coming alongside others in their struggles, but our lessons in hardship can help us to be even more understanding and compassionate towards others.
So firstly ATTITUDE is important- we need to allow God to renew the attitude of our mind, to recognise and acknowledge that we are suffering but to say 'I will get through this with God's help.' Immanuel- God with me. It's much easier to face the day swimming upstream with God than against the current on our own which will lead us downstream. It's a shift in our perspective. Some plants who survive in hardy conditions have to put their roots down deeper to get the moisture and to survive and in times of hardship especially we need to put our roots deeper into the soil of Jesus and take comfort from his Word and from others.
Secondly the ABILITY to keep moving, even if you are war wounded or limping, keep limping in faith. keep moving forwards, pressing into God and pressing on... not looking back to what was or what could have been but focusing on the here and now and the future. If taking each day as it comes is all you can do in your suffering then at least you are moving. We need to do things to help ourselves too. Despite how I was feeling I made myself get up, sort things out. I tried to look after myself, exercise, try to have a healthy diet, surround myself with people who will build me up, keep carrying on for the sake of my children and myself, immerse myself in helping others so I didn't drown in my own. Not everyone will be able to do this straight away but it helped me to see beyond my own problems and to take the focus off myself.
Thirdly what helped me was people ACKNOWLEDGING my pain and my difficult circumstances. Be willing to stand with me and offer encouraging words and speak hope into my life and almost name that hope. It is so important and to be authentic. We shouldn't be expected to show up at church with our rough edges all planed off and our hearts completely right. The church needs to be authentic and recognise people's struggles and where they are. At our church there is a real authenticity and acknowledgment of peoples struggles and that is very healing.
Fourthly my ANCHOR. What is your anchor? What do you turn to when life gets hard? Do you have one? Do you remember those inflatable punch bag men you could punch. I used to have one as a child. You could knock them down but you couldn't knock them out? No matter how hard we slapped him or kicked him ...he would pop right back up for more every single time. I could knock him down, but I couldn't knock him out! What was the secret? The secret was the ANCHOR. You see, down in the bottom of that punch bag was sand or something solid. That sand kept the punchbag man balanced so no matter what happened it always came back to an upright position.
We have an anchor that keeps the soul, steadfast and sure while the billows roll, Fastened to the Rock which cannot move, Grounded firm and deep in the Savior’s love. Jesus. Holding on to Jesus and his promises to give us hope.
Finally William Barclay says this in his commentary on the Bible: “The supreme characteristic of the Christian is NOT that he doesn't fall, but that every time he falls he rises again. It is NOT that he is never beaten, but that he is never ultimately defeated. The Christian may lose a battle, but he knows that in the end he can never lose the war.”
